Thursday, May 25, 2006

It's only natural that I should be leaving home.

After going for a run tonight I made myself dinner, ate it and then my night came to a screeching halt. I felt too tired to play the guitar, there is nothing on tv, all my dvd's are in Melbourne and I felt a-little-bit-sad.

After talking to jase (who as well as my friend often doubles as my online psychiatrist), he came out with a question that made everything click.

"are you stressin because moving is becoming so real and its going to take you out of your comfort zone?"

The answer I decided is a resounding yes. As much as I do love the man, I'm also a bit nervous and apprehensive about moving down there. Understandably I guess. Also for some completely unknown reason to me I'm a little bit sad about moving away from home. Realise of course that I have moved out of home before and both my parents are rarely home when I am anyway.

I'm trying to think of sides of me the man might not have seen yet. I can't actually come up with anything which is good. I guess its a bit like:

"you've seen me at my worst and it won't be the last time I'm down there"

So apart the wriggly worms of excitement and anxiousness in my stomach about moving in with the man there is also the butterflies of nervousness about having to start a new job flying about too. I'm still at the ATO but working a new office, in a new job, with new grads, new co-workers etc etc. Essentially I'm going to be the new kid at school. I love the grads here in Albury. We were all thrown in together, all in the same boat and we're all good friends. In Melbourne, who KNOWS what they are like!!

I think Jebediah says it perfectly with:

"Hope I like the life I find when I leave everything behind I hope I'm sure
I've made my mind, to go and leave home".

Having said that I do think that the wriggly worms of excitement have the upper hand against the anxious worms. They're wrigglier!

As usual blogging and a chat to jase has cheered me up no end and I think I could give the guitar a go, ph-ew!

- Jen

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