Sunday, November 16, 2008

I'm so sick from the drink...

If you ever see my updates on facebook or if you've spent any time with me lately you will know I've been a bit of a booze hound. But Friday night was officially the messiest I have ever been. Ever. I went to uni and I was never this bad. I went on a three week drink fest around Europe and I didn't even come close. But somewhere deep inside me on Friday afternoon I obviously decided that 24 is not too old to make a complete goose out of yourself.

Oh and thanks to the inventors of Facebook. In less than 24 hours twenty photos of me were tagged and put up there for the rest of my friends to enjoy. Thankfully the man didn't think to photograph me when I got home. Like I said on Facebook, I was 'sick a dog'. Yes. Sick A dog.

It started out after work, at the local pub,'the elms'. By the time I left I was a binge drinker (see Australian definition). So I hadn't had that much. I even stopped and drank a litre of water and ate a banana and some chocolate. Still being sensible Jen.

After that, well. When we got to the Richmond Club Hotel it was happy hour. I can't remember how much the beers were but they were cheap.. $2.50 each? With only 15 minutes to go we stocked up. Still being sensible because we were saving money. Then we moved upstairs. There was a drink that tasted like Snickers. More beer.... then I was in a taxi. Then I was at home.

I'm pretty sure lots happened in between. There could even have been dancing.

I'm not going to specify what happened next but I'll put it in multiple choice and you can pick whichever suits you best.

a) I got home and went to bed with a bucket

b) I got home and went to the toilet sans pants

c) I went to the toilet and threw up on the bathroom floor

d) I got home and went to bed with a bucket and threw up the next morning

e) All of the above

It was still a good night though, but the hangover was so god-awful it made the man look like a health nut. The lesson really is to eat lots! You think I would have already learned this lesson at uni. We had nibblies but dinner is a must. I also didn't have a big lunch at work which doesn't help.

Saturday was a misery, and we had to drive to Ocean Grove for the man's Uncle Jumpy's 60th. The Fankhauser bunch are notorious for their drinking skills, and I copped it all day for my behaviour on Friday night. I even acquired another nickname, 'Triple J', or Jen Jumpy Junior. Later abbreviated to 'T.J' or 'Teege'. I have a horrible feeling it will stick. Jumpy's real name is Peter and I've never heard him called anything except Jumpy.

Now is a particularly bad time to decide to 'not drink'. I just need to eat more WHILE I drink, drink in moderation (ta Dad)...and maybe ..just maybe...drink less.

For all those reading who thought I was a good person. Well I'm sorry. I felt embarrassed about it until everyone who heard the story the next day recounted their own 'the most drunk I've ever been was when' story.

Please, please add in a comment and share your own.

- Jen


Anonymous said...

See this isn't fair, I still think my story beats yours...
The most drunk I have ever been was at my 21st when I was forcibly removed from the pub by the bouncers.
Feel less embarrassed now?
From, your sister

Raelene said...

Oh dear....

Mine involved happy hour too, funnily enough. Can't remember much, but do remember shouting for my girlfriend to stop the car, so I could lean out the open door to.... well, you know what I did out that open door.... Ugh.

I think you beat me with this tale!

Andrew said...

How naughty, you went out and had fun. Normal, yes.

Michael said...

I was not quite 18, was in the Navy and was being a partner to a lovely young lady at a debutante ball (because of the lovely uniforms we sailors wore).

Well, about an hour before the ball, everybody was busy getting ready and some of my mates asked the organisers for some drinks as it was the middle of January and it was in Sydney - and we were frocked up in our sailor suits.

Being under 18 didn't stop me on this occasion. I drank a jug in close to world record time for a non-drinking 17 year old! Pretty smart, on an empty stomach.

We did the debut, I danced with my partner, her Mum and her grandmother. We sat down for dinner. I picked at the entree, my mates partner passed me her red wine since she didn't like it - apparently I did.

A little later several of my mates and I staggered upstairs to take off our hot, wool-based jackets and returned downstairs to the assembled throng.

I sat back down at my table and rested my head on my forearms on the table. I must have started making some unsavoury noises as a mate of mine yelled out "No! Sit back". I sat back, dutifully, and puked all over myself, leaving a 6 ft puddle of spew around me.

I was gathered up by a couple of mates and taken outside for some fresh air (a bit late by now!) and that was the end of the night for me.

I missed a massive fight between sailors and uni students trying to crash the ball, and the various gifts given to sailors by various partners. Some were most interesting...

Anyway, my partners mother worked in the canteen on the base where I was stationed. I didn't show my face in there for several weeks. I did however ring my partner the next day to apologise and she was most forgiving, even asking if I was feeling better.

Michael said...



Maybe this post was too much and they want to rebuild the venue and their image

Gus said...

Oh dude... that's craaaaazzzyyy massive night, $2.50 beers!!!